I always remember the silence of the snow when it falls without any break. But I think I sometimes forget that it is cold only in memories. I feel like putting jacket on. I have hallucination. Experiencing something which doesn't exist my immediate outside. I have trouble feeling it all the time. I have trouble that nights get extended. It is snowing all over. I find no reason to sleep when it is snowing outside.
Thursday, 25 April 2013
I don't like it here..!!
I don't remember the year but July 22nd was a saturday. Just another coincidence as always. Everything remained the same, except my age. My surroundings too appeared having no unusual surprises for the day. I doubt the memory of my surroundings. I feel they always prefer to ignore my presence. I keep on watching their strange appearances all the time. When I watch them here it seems I am apart. What if one day I am no more to check whether I am being remembered or not?. It is true that I left nothing significant anywhere. It was just coincidence that I met people, talked to strangers, made them feel something and sometimes nothing, laughed at jokes, loved, and quarreled. And it was again a part of that coincidence that I too have studied once the same subjects with hundreds of others. I too have walked the same way all alone. I too have ignored the warnings coming late for the classes and I too have had friends there once. But it doesn't give me any privilege to be remembered as I remember them all. Different times at different places meeting hundreds of those strangers passing them for once and for all. Leaving behind turning points of time and space sooner or later.! I am having delusions all around. Of all those troubled delusions I have, the most uncomfortable are perhaps the swaying trees and their falling leaves, making me feel apart. I have uncomfortable distractions. Though I hate the state of being obsessed, I doubt I am obsessed. Memories want to be in love with something which could be a great source of comfort and company. I read, write and often rewrite few of them again. I am even reading my favorite ones twice or more. Why would I be worried thinking of some coincidences happened somewhere around my surroundings if they don't even feel my presence?! Another time in July it was snowing all around me. I remember the year and it was 2009. But not the day; I don't remember that coincidence any more.