Saturday, 21 December 2013

An Extended Existence

Proclaim! In the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created man out of a mere clot of congealed blood!

Obsessed or not obsessed really matters. When you doubt your memories; obsessions do what a ventilator does when you are medically vegetative. It gives hope, time and assistance to extent the existence. It gives an option to rewind and restart. And it gives a chance to repeat and reappear. And an unimaginable repeated reappearance begins to build existence.

Why do we have ventilators in our hospitals? It makes an extension; perhaps a mechanical extension of existence. And therefore it creates an external subsistence. And it gives hope of recurrence and survival. And hope at times gives everything. And your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness are all about that hope.
An extended existence is always conditional, limited and restricted. But the hope is unconditional, unlimited and uninterrupted.

So, when you are obsessed and persistently double checking things; you create an extended existence of your own alter ego. When you doubt your memories and continuously double check what you have done, like me, you are obsessed too. And no one would ever tell you that; whatever you have done is absolutely well done.
I can see only repeated reappearance and persisting sameness everywhere. As if I am trapped in an impassable maze; which is dangerously confusing.

Wherever I walk and whatever I see force me to rewind to the beginning, to double check and to realize, how tiring is this treacherous confusion!
But it is nothing but hope that makes it repeat. The hope for a fresh beginning; without doubting memories, makes us to rewind it. But it repeats the doubt and makes everything reappear. And an obsessed one would always be in a maze, which is an impassable one; which will be forever confusing and never be solved.
An obsessed one may not reach the destination of hope. But hope will insist him to rewind and recheck. Hope will make him sick and helpless.

There is a fringe of accessibility in obsession; beyond which no psychic vibration can really answer you, if you ask, am I really gone nuts? And once you infringe the boundary; you would even refuse to ask, am I really sick? And when you realize that you trespass the sacred obsessions; you would forget to ask, am I really a goner already? Rest is freedom. And you realize that you are no longer obsessed and free at last.

And what you need is everlasting peace and prayer.

All praises due to Allah, Lord of all words; The one God to whom praise is due forever.

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