Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Repeated Reappearences

I don't remember when I went to see the waters for the first time. All the beautiful seascapes I have seen thereafter  have become part of my memories. Once memories were music. They redeemed emotions and retained them with rhythm, melody and harmony. Some other times memories were fragrance  and colors. They perceived past and preserved them with repeated sensations and similarities. Memories make me believe some of the moments smell the same and I am  familiar with these odors. Memories were often colors.  And they create unbelievable illusions. It appears that life is an indispensable sequence of  deja vus. Everywhere I witness encounters with disagreeable reappearances of familiarity. Even my first encounter with new situations appear to be a reappearance of similar occasions I have already experienced before. Familiar  compilation of different colors, similar melodies and familiar fragrance make me feel deja vus all the time. And among those melodies, some remind me of long lost get-together(s). Few among those many colors remind me of long route road trips. I find people are busy making merry. They move around, they laugh, they ridicule and they even forget to remember themselves.

I feel my past has got enduring existence when I find inevitable sameness everywhere. The same old fragrance, colors and melodies make me refuse to believe that whatever appears is not a reappearance. And my return from these deja vus was the realization that whatever appears beautiful, colorful and fragrant has substitutes in memories. And the end of these deja vus would be an unfamiliar encounter. Where nothing would really smell similar, nothing would appear familiar and no object would reflect familiar colors anymore.

Another time when I went to see the waters; it was the endlessness of the waters that made me obscure. The uninterrupted tides repeatedly reappeared. And I found an agreeable reappearance of sameness one after another. Same old sea again. But I never refuse to watch these sameness and familiarity, no matter agreeable or disagreeable. Perhaps these inevitable similarities would be responsible for making me an insider. I hate being insecure while having strange encounters that make me always an outsider.

And as memories appear,not all my thoughts are complete and perceptible. And I always love to see the waters and their agreeable sameness and uninterrupted reappearance. I feel it is a perpetual demonstration of my deja vus where I can find a great source of comfort and company.

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